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Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
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12:19 am - It takes more time than I've ever had, Drains the life from me, Makes me want to forget
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Ahh, where to begin well things in my life kind of suck right now. Well I shouldn’t say they completely suck because I have become a lot closer to my friends in the past few months, they have really been there for me thought this whole thing. (To those of you reading, if you know me, you know what im talking about.)
Life sometimes throws you things that you are not prepared for, and you’re just forced to deal with them even if you don’t know how to deal with them. Well I have been trying to deal with my situation; it’s been really hard but im doing it. I miss him very much, but if this is what has to happen right now, I have to deal with it. I have so many fears, and uncertainties and I try to get past them but it’s hard. I hurt so badly, and I just want that hurt to go away but that’s not going to happen any time soon. Sometimes I wish I could just move on, but it’s not an easy thing to do, not when your heart is involved in the situation. I wish things like this would come with instruction manuals, because I really feel like I need one. I feel that I was very naive to not ever think this could happen, and I wish I would have let the thought cross my mind, but I was never given any indication to let the thought cross my mind.
This is really hard for me to write about, but at the same time feels good to let it out. I know I have to become a stronger person, and in many ways I have, but I need to just realize that these things happen, and if something is meant to be it will happen. Everything reminds me of him, and the things we did, how much fun we had together, how nice he always made me feel. I think im going have to put allot of things in my room away, because its just to hard to be reminded of everything on a daily basis. It just sucks, cause this is so hard for, me and probably so easy for him, I’m sure he doesn’t think about it every day like I do.
But from now on, I’m not going to, I cant let myself, I have to get myself back together and just deal with the situation that is in front of me. If I don’t its going to hurt me, I have to may things in my life that are important to let this ruin me, I have school, I cant let this interferer I have come to far in photography to let this hurt me, I have worked so hard. And I have my mom, and my friends they are always there for me, and will always be there for me and I love them so much cause without them, well lets just say id be lost and very alone. So thank you so much. I’m going to get through this I have no choice.
current mood:  hopeful
current music: straylight run, It's Everyone's Fault But Mine
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
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11:14 pm - maybe someone will read it.
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hello all, I know I never write in my live journal there for no one probably still has me on there buddy list.... so no one is probably reading this. anyway. I just moved into my new apartment on 9th and pine! it's a really cool 3 bed room apartment, I'm sharing it with my friends Shawn and Julia. Julia hasn't moved in yet so for the next couple months it's me and Shawn. It's a weird feeling moving into a new apartment. Even though I couldn't stand my last one, I has a sense of comfort there, I was so use to it this one I'm not use to yet, the more I get my room in order the more it feels like it's home. We have yet to conquer the down stairs but once we do I'm sure that it will feel like I belong here. Also I feel really lonely, its the end of the quarter my finals are this week and I have nothing left to do there for I sit in my apartment. I feel like I have no friends anymore like I know I do, but I rarely get a chance to hang out with my friends all of our schedules are so different guess I'm just in a process of a new start. on a better note, my birthday is September 30th, I will be 20! wow. I feel kind of old. yet I'm still younger than most of my friends. I want to hang out with more with the people I hang out with at school, or the people I talk to at school.... when I started here everyone hung out together now it's like things are so different. relationships change so fast, so if learned to enjoy them while they are still around. I'm hoping this new apartment, and living with new people will change things but I guess I will wait and see.
current mood:  nervous
current music: golden girls
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, August 30th, 2004
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12:10 am - check it out please!!!
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| Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
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1:07 am - i havnt done one of those in for ever
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| Tuesday, June 8th, 2004
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7:13 pm
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| Saturday, May 22nd, 2004
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8:14 pm
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well, i feel like writing in this thing. I have been up to alot, with school, i can't wait for this quarter to be done with i have 4 more weeks left, then a 3 week break then back to school again for a whole nother quarter, but i only have 2 days of school then, monday and thursday. It wasn't my first choice, but that was all that was being offerd. I feel real lazy because all my friends are out of school and i'm not really getting a summer for the next 3 years. so yea. anyway... i been taking lots of pictures and trying to get stuff done for my final projects.
On thursday candy and christine came to philly we walked around, i showed em the vintage stores on arch st. and i showed them the real world philly house, and as i was showing them were walking down the st. and im like I see cameras... I saw a couple of camera guys and on of the new real worl casts members, and this camera guy says yea ur on real world. OK i definaltally looked like an ass whole, cause i just kinda stared at the camera... I wanted to be on this show some how i didnt care if involved a verbal fight whatever... haha. but yea that wasn;t what i planed... but there here till september so i have quit some time. people for my school are doing some of the tapeing for the show, so we here alot about what there doing such as them throwing chairs at clubs and what not. any way...
on friday i went to NYC with christine and candy, we went cause christine had these free makeover things at this place it turned out that they over booked and i was the only one who got my makeup done i felt bad, but they didnt care, we got some cool free stuff, after that we went on an adventure for christine to try and return her books cause she goes to pace, in NY, but that was a failed atempt... so we went watched thease really good break dancers who were battling. it was cool. then we went to little italy and ate at this place are waiter wasnt nice, because we didnt order any alcahal, but the food was good. then we went to this ice cream place where the icecream was soooo good. then we wemt home, it was real fun....
the end...
http://www.purevolume.com/OurTime check it out
current mood:  bored
current music: our time.... My fasination.... Eric and lee's new band
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 27th, 2004
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7:13 pm - u better comment!
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post a memory of me in the comments, even if its just an online memory - it can be anything you want. then post this to your journal and see what people remember of you
current mood:  sick
current music: the nanny
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
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9:21 pm - it's been a while
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yea i havnt written in this thing in like for ever, but hey u gatta start again somtime i guess haha. i always read everyone elses what can i say, i need to know whats going on w/ other people.
well i been way busy with school, and i cant wait to move out of the school apartments and into another one with my friend shawn we are going to look at one tommorrow. i'm so excited. were moving to park town place, by the benjim franklin park way and the art musium... it has a gym and and 2 bedrooms, wich means i get to have my own bedrrom again. living with all girls is just to much for me, my one roomate is getting on my nerves and im the only one who really cleans and im just sick of ir, plus this place sux and is dirty and has to many stupid rules. the only good thig about it is that its in center city, but hey who cares.
this past weekend i went to this awesome party/ formal at my friend zacks house, there were so many people there, it was crazy i felt like i was in a movie, any way on the way home i walked through cameron daiz's movie set and i belive i saw here. i was a little drunk but i know cameron daiz when i see her haha.
well im done for now
xoxo
current mood: bored
current music: minus the bear
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, October 1st, 2003
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2:21 am - whew
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well... i always say im going to update but never do, but im gana give it a shot.
alot has been going on lately, im getting ready for college which i dont start untill the very end of september... well thats when i move in, i dont start untill 0ctober 6th. I cant wait to live in philly. :)
on another note r!zzo is no longer together, i didn't want to do it anymore so we decided to end it. other people may have there reasons... but i feel no need to get into that because i belive that saying just this is the best to make it a nice peacefull ending, in which it was intended to be. no drama is nededed.
anyways, i got a photo and press pass to warped tour im really excited i cant wait to go and take pics. having the press pass means i can do interveiws also, but i don't know if i want to get into that but check out www.scenincnewjersey.cjb.net, the pics will be up aug 12th.
the past 2 weeks i went to 80's night i dont know why i didn't go sooner it is sooo much fun! 80's music friends what more can u ask for? lol its lots of fun.
well thats all for now im gana try and update more as i always say i am. lol
xoxo Meg
current mood: satisfied
current music: the TV
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, June 27th, 2003
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7:53 pm - hahaha that was funny
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you are an old school hc kid. you know what
hardcore is really about. it's not the hair and
the style, it's the lessons you learn and the
friends you make. if there were more kids like
you, the scene would be a better place.
what type of scene kid are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
current mood: sick
current music: will & grace
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, June 2nd, 2003
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1:32 am
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| Friday, May 30th, 2003
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1:44 pm - woha LJ
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| Tuesday, April 8th, 2003
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7:23 pm
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i found this in a friends Info and i think it's very true....
somewhere b e t w e e n the procrastination.... and the homework.....
and the incessant forwards..... and the friendships..... and the calls to each other complaining about crushes!!...... Somewhere b e t w e e n the phone calls to old friends..... And the "I miss you's", the "I love you's"....... And the "What are we doing tonight's?"..... And somewhere b e t w ee n all of the changing,growing... Somewhere b e t w e e n the classes........ And the skipping classes...... And the studying for tests.......And the pretending to study for tests....... And the downright NOT studying for tests... I forgot.......... I forgot what school was all about. Somewhere between all the appointments and starbu! cks coffees, and Diet Mt. Dew's... paying bills and then not paying bills...Making plans then breaking plans... Appearing, Disappearing, then re-appearing...I forgot...I! forgot what it was like to cry....... I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy........... And that pretending to be smart doesn't make you smart ............ I forgot that you can't just forget the past in fear of the future.......... I forgot that you can't control falling in love........... And that you can't make yourself fall in love........... I learned that I can love......... I learned that it's okay to mess up......... And it's okay to ask for help......... And it's okay to feel like crap......... I learned it's okay to complain and whine to all your friends for a whole day........ I learned that sometimes the things you want most you just can't have. I learned that the greatest thing about high school and college and the working world isn't the parties or the DRiNKiNG or the hook-ups... It's the friendships, which means taking chances........ I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about.......... I learned that time and can heal all things... I learned that just when you think it can't get worse-- it does... but w/ the love and support of friends--you survive... I've learned that when you start feeling bad about losing touch -- those that you've lost touch w/ are feeling the same way...I learned that letters from ! friends are the most important things.And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better. But, basically, I just learned that my friends........
Both o l d and new......... Are the most important people to me in the world. AND.......without them, I wouldn't be who I am today..... So this is a thank you to all of my friends. . For always being there. And even if we're not on good terms or we have lost touch... I will always have an unconditional love for you.. ~Always and forever ~love you!~
current mood:  sleepy
current music: alkaline trio
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, April 5th, 2003
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11:18 am - haha
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| Saturday, March 29th, 2003
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4:46 pm - lol
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| Friday, March 7th, 2003
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3:19 pm
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3:15 pm - hehe
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 You'll Get Caught Doing it On The Beach!This answer should be of no surprise. You love the ocean. You love the sun, the water, and the exotic surfer types. You like being the catch - not the one fishing. You have the skimpiest bikinis and you have been know to check out a nude beach. You know you'll attract men, so all you have to do it lay back. You go to the beach so much that you know the perfect coves to do the dirty deed. Unless that hot new lifeguard finds your secret spot...... You love getting naked in the sun, and getting your most private parts tan. Screwing on the beach is awesome. You've found it, you love it, and it's yours! Where Will You Get Caught Having Sex?More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
current mood:  cold
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, March 5th, 2003
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11:02 pm - HELL YEA!!! THIS WAS MY LIFE STORY! hahaha
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Subject: FW: 1980's
Now this is kinda funny. Does this mean that people like me are getting
old?
You know you grew up in the 1980's if ...
You ever ended your sentence with "psych".
You solved the Rubics cube...by peeling off the stickers.
You watched the Pound Puppies.
You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air".
You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.
You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start
a club of your own.
You know that 'Whoa' comes from Joey on "Blossom".
Three words: M.C. Hammer.
You thought it would be great to have a friend named "Boner".
You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales".
If you played the chipmunks Christmas album all year long!
You had plastic streamers on the handlebars of your bike.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday
to watch cartoons.
You wore a ponytail to the side of your head.
You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen.
You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail and Number Munchers day and the new Apple computers with the black screen & neon green type in computer class at school.
You made your mom buy you one of those clips that would hold your
shirt in a knot on the side.
You played the game "MASH" (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House) with
Friends at school.
You wore a Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of it.
L.A. GEAR
Your mother wouldn't let you have Garbage Pail Kids.
You remember reading "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the
Ramona books.
You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off".
You wanted to be a Goonie.
You ever wore fluorescent, neon if you will, clothing.
You wanted to be on Star Search.
You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell
off.
You wanted a glittery Michael Jackson glove.
You had a pair of parachute pants.
You took a metal lunch box to school.
You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.
You remember the craze, and then the banning, of slap bracelets.
You still get the urge to use "NOT" at the end of every statement you
make.
You remember Hyper color T-shirts.
Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
You remember Punky Brewster & her cool bedroom.
You loved Howard the duck.
You remember the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles them song. (heroes in a
half shell Tuttle Power!!!)
You thought Sheera and He-Man should hook up.
You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you
exchanged friendship bracelets.
You ever owned a pair of Jelly Shoes.
After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you couldn't stop saying "I know you are but what am I...infinity".
You remember, "I've fallen...and I can't get up!"
You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
You know not to mix pop rocks and soda (but did it anyway!)
You have played with a 'skip-it'.
You had or went to a birthday party at McDonald's.
You learned oldies songs by watching Alvin and the Chipmunks.
If you remember Heathcliff the orange cat.
You saw the California Raisins Christmas clay-mation special.
DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You wore socks over tights with high-top Reeboks. And you wore like 8
pairs of socks at once - scrunched down.
MISS MARY MACK MACK MACK ALL DRESSED IN BLACK BLACK BLACK...
You remember boom boxes instead of CD players.
You kept the piece of cardboard from the new washer/TV/fridge so you
could break dance.
You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.
You remember the Transformers.
You know what it meant to say "care bear stare" and you had a favorite.
You remember Rainbow Bright and My Little Pony Tales.
You remember watching TV thinking Doogie Howser was hot!
You remember Alf, the little furry brown alien from Melmac who tried
to eat cats.
You remember the large amounts of hairspray used.
You remember those very stylish headbands.
You remember Vicky the Robot (a.k.a. Small Wonder).
You remember the beginning of New Kids on the Block.
You remember watching The Cosby show.
You remember Mr. Belvedere.
You remember Michael J. Fox in Family Ties and Back to the Future.
You know all the names of the gang from "Saved by the Bell".
******Pass this on to anyone you know who grew up in the 1980's
current mood:  hyper
current music: golden girls theme song
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, February 23rd, 2003
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5:51 pm - blah...
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well, it's been a little while since i have written... lately i just feel like i can't wait untill im finally in college. im so sick of school and this whole general area. i can't wait to finally get away from it all, once and for all. liveing in philly is going to be so much fun!
this weeks holly bowl show was pretty cool... sooo many people who use to come to shows were there it was great! i had fun...this upcoming friday feb 28th it's going to be a really good show, it's R!zzo, Dissident, Stick figure suicide and Amazing transparent man. If any of u have the Plea for peace cd you may have heard them from that,or if u just know them lol there an awesome band.. i hope to see evryone there.
last night was fun, me lee eric and dan went around handing out flyers, stoped by the eastampton show handed out some. then went to ma holly dinner good times! i love my band!! hehehe we can have so much fun just sitting around talking it's great.
well in a couple weeks im going on my senior trip to florida, i dont really wana go lol im scared to go on the plane i have nver been on one before. so yea im scared... and i just don't think im gana have fun... but i wana go to florida so im going and i will try to make the best of it.
current mood: tired
current music: a modest promise
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, February 13th, 2003
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11:30 am
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-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
current mood: cheerful
current music: the wonder years theme song lol
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(comment on this)
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